You Are Your Own Hero

You Are Your Own Hero

June 30, 2019

A Lesson About Being Your Own Hero

I had just resigned from my job and was home for three weeks. After the house was in order, I decided I wanted to go out and dance. I’m not one who keeps much company, and I couldn’t find anyone to go dancing with me, so I texted my aunt and asked if she thought it would be okay for me to go dancing alone.

My aunt thought it would be fine, and just recommended I be careful. I put on a dress and heels and drove myself to a bar that I had been to several times. On the way to the bar I thought, “I hope someone will dance Salsa with me.”

A Night Out

When I arrived at the bar, one of the bouncers asked if I had ever been there before and I told him that I came often, but usually with a friend. I noticed the man had two unconcealed weapons in holsters; one on each thigh. “Things must get crazy around here,” I thought.

dj turntable

After a while, I paid the DJ $20 to play a few songs I wanted to hear, and another bouncer told me I couldn’t stand in front of the bathroom, which was in front of the DJ booth. I stayed clear of the bathroom area and continued to make my song requests. After my third request, I heard a bouncer say, “Alright! That’s it!” and before I knew it, three of them were grabbing me and carrying me towards the door.

“Why?” I asked but no one would answer me, and they threw me on the sidewalk. The man with the guns on his thighs was outside and I asked him why they did that to me (Later, I learned they must have thought I was an informant, because I was alone, and something illegal must happen by the bathroom). The man aggressively told me he didn’t know but to go home.

Things Take an Unexpected Turn

As I opened my car door, it was close to the car next to me and as I was frazzled, I accidentally hit the other door. The other car belonged to the man with the guns, and he shouted, “You hit my car!” Feeling violated, I didn’t really care about the scratch on his car and continued to get in mine. The man pulled out one of his guns and I was staring down a black barrel. My initial reaction was to throw up my hands and exclaim, “I have kids!”

I continued to repeat myself, and for a moment, I thought I was going to lose my life. The man began to pull the trigger and after a few seconds I realized whatever he was shooting me with was wet. The man continued to shoot me with both gas guns and my entire body was covered with mace. The moment I realized I wasn’t going to die, I reversed my car and proceeded to drive home as fast as I could, knowing soon I wouldn’t be able to open my eyes.

depressed girl covering face with hand with dark background

Somehow, I made it home and felt my way through the door. I felt my way upstairs and made it to my bathroom where I ripped off my dress and jumped in the shower with my heels. The burn set in and I was furious with my higher power. I began to shout, “It hurts! Take it away!”

As I began to tremble hysterically, I sat in the shower and continued to scream. “Why do you hate me? I am your biggest advocate and you hate me!” I made it to my bed and hysterically cried myself to sleep. The moment I opened my eyes the next morning, I was still hysterical. I sat by the pool in my complex for most of the day and cried as I put water on my skin to cool it. I couldn’t tell anyone what happened because I didn’t want to hear that I shouldn’t have gone alone. I had just defeated depression after losing my marriage, home, job, and best friends, and I was not going to go through it again.

See the God in Yourself

A few days after, I turned on the radio to drown out my thoughts, and the higher power I screamed to nights before, started to show me how much I was truly loved. The words in the songs connected with my thoughts, and as I cleaned my home, I moved my furniture and gave myself a dance floor. I lost all inhibitions and became childlike again.

I realized I needed to have fun! I jumped on my bed and climbed trees. I rode a bike for the first time in years and as I rode, I noticed how miserable adults looked driving their cars. People thought I was crazy! The spiritual connection was so strong that I had to ask it to stop for a while because it was too overwhelming. I started to see myself in the higher power and realize that I was my own God and that I never hated myself. I loved myself through all of this hurt and pain. I placed my heels on my counter to remind me that I also went through that experience by myself.

girl jumping with joy with purse in hand on empty road

Some people may never understand the concept of self-love, but I advocate for the people who are like me; independent. I encourage you to see the God in yourself and know that you are all you will ever need. I don’t feel that the universe has less of a divine plan for me, but I do know that I do not need the support of others to love myself. I have loved myself all along. I am my own hero.

Life is not always happy, but that’s the beauty of it; manifesting these challenging experiences and finding yourself once more.

If you enjoyed reading this post, please leave a comment and subscribe to our newsletter. You can also read more articles at our blog homepage.

Also, if self love is something you are interested in exploring more deeply, we highly recommend reading Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It by Kamal Ravikant.

This is a guest post from Yvette Edwards. You can follow her brand, Self Love Ambassadors, on Twitter @clubselflove and on Instagram @loveusbyus

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